Wakey, Wakey by Will Eno

Author:Will Eno
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Oberon Books

LISA smiles and takes out her Thermos or sports bottle. She drinks a sip.

LISA: (Sounding out the word.) Hibiscus. (GUY turns to look at her.) Do you want some?

GUY: No, thanks.

LISA: (As she looks through her bag.) I forgot my notebook. (Pulls out a little bottle of toy bubbles, sets it somewhere. Very small self-deprecating laugh.) But I remembered this. My kids are crazy about bubbles. My father-in-law, too.

GUY: Yeah, I like bubbles, too.

LISA: We can do some later. I’ll be right back. (She exits.)

GUY: Never a dull moment. (A long dull pause. He stares at the audience without moving much.) Maybe not never.

Brief pause.

It’s… so – you’ve been great, first of all. But, so, there’s the plan, some idea, and then there’s nature, and you, everyone, you adjust. And your life, is the adjustment. To the real things. So, you have to love the plan, and, love the adjustment, in yourself, and, everywhere. Am I talking too loud? I don’t mean “too loud.” Ten seconds. I just need a little ten seconds. (It’s best if he DOES NOT talk any louder, as or before he’s saying “…talking too loud.” Just normal volume, all around.)

He sits with us for ten seconds or so. Looking at us but maybe a million miles away. And then:

I haven’t forgotten about you.

He looks, with a little effort, at his index cards.

These are, this’ll be fun.

He clicks the remote and on the wall appears a movie-preview-style JUMBLE QUIZ.

PROJECTION: “CITY OF LIGHTS?” “SPIAR” (After some time, the letters re-arrange themselves into “PARIS.”)

GUY: Paris. Paris, France. (He clicks remote.)

PROJECTION: “SITE OF THE 1912 OLYMPICS?” “CHOMSKOLT”

LISA: (Enters, with her notebook. Still standing, and looking up at PROJECTION.) Oh, wow – the Olympics were in Chomskolt?

GUY: No. Watch.

PROJECTION: The letters “CHOMSTOLK” re-arrange themselves into “ANSWER.” GUY clicks off the screen.

LISA: I thought it was going to be Stockholm. (She picks up some index cards that GUY dropped earlier.)

GUY: I guess someone was having fun with these.

LISA: (She reads from one of the cards.) “My birth is–” Sorry. Can I read this?

GUY: (Not entirely comfortable with her reading his cards.) Sure.

LISA: “My birth is imminent. Forgive me, brethren, sistren. But do not prevent me from coming to life.” What’s that from?

GUY: (Taking it back from her and looking at it.) Is it – I don’t know. I wrote it down.

LISA: I love quotes.

GUY: Yeah.

LISA: (Brief pause.) “A dog knows it’s not a cat and a giraffe knows it’s a giraffe. But you braying squealing asses do not know you are asses.” (Very brief pause.) That was a needlepoint my mom had. I forget who said it. (She sits back down. ) Are you sure you don’t want some? (Offering tea.)

GUY: No, thanks. I don’t think I can…. (Very small sound of frustration.) Uhh. I’m sorry I’m so disorganized.

LISA: We’re all exactly as organized as we need to be. Do you want a pillow or anything?

GUY: I had notes, these cards. The little colored tabs. I had a whole plan.

LISA: But that changed?

GUY: Yeah.

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